If you didn’t watch the last series of The X Factor then you missed 2 Shoes, a spray-tan girl duo that brought a ray of Essex sunshine to ITV’s bore-fest. This chugging ’90s disco track about needing a good bonk isn’t outstanding, but I would rather listen to their version of Kathy Brown’s 1994 banger for eternity than one second of Little Mix irrigating Damien Rice.
Sam Wolfson